Enough About Eve. Episode 3×06.

Gossip Girl here. Last week, Rufus and Lily got married and their secret love child went back to Boston, never to be mentioned again. The Buckleys took off with Carter, presumably to beat him up. And Dan’s new actress girlfriend played by Hilary Duff took off to Japan and was off screen. Also, Georgina met a Belarussian prince…and took off with him.

Will this be the week of the promised threesome? How long do we have to wait for it?

BLAIR IS DREAMING!

vlcsnap-2015-05-10-14h57m31s192 vlcsnap-2015-05-10-14h57m42s50 Of Vanessa ABRAMS.

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Talk about your NIGHTMARE. That award was meant for Blair! It’s only a nightmare though. read more

Seder Anything. Episode 2×21.

It was Jenny’s party and she’ll cry if she wants to (you’d cry too if you were a Humphrey), Lily was annoyed that she had to be a parent, Chuck and Vanessa feel that sex neither one of them wants to brag about is the best way to make Nate and Blair jealous, and Serena ran off to Spain. Hmm, their economic crisis got really bad around the time Serena visited. Can we blame her?

Next week we shall start the Official Serena Man count. Dan is 1, Aaron Rose is 2, Pretentious Gay Director is 3…

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Pret-a-Poor-J. Episode 2×08

Chuck and Blair played more games with each other and other people (can you call Vanessa “people” thought?), Jenny and Vanessa continued their fashion atrocities, Nate is squatting in his old house and Lily decided that now that her kids are teens, it’s damn time she tried being a mother. What will happen this week?

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Blair is having a sex dream about her Prince Charming (Chuck) as Gossip Girl non-discretely voice overs “But if Prince Charming refuses to come” as Blair is woken up by a knock on the door. Those sly writers getting things past the CW censors again. It’s our Dorota, who reminds Blair that God is always watching. read more

New Haven Can Wait. Episode 2×06.

Jenny needs to be grounded for life after quitting school to work for Eleanor behind her daddy’s back, Blair and Serena need a time out to discuss who is insecure and who is conceited, and Lily needs a drink. Let’s find out what’s in store this week.

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Uh oh, the recaps mentioned Captain I, Like the Writers, Forgot About This Plot Point. They must have remembered. Is he escaping jail?

It’s Blairiza Doolitle, practicing “The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain” (which is a huge lie. The rain in Spain stays mainly in the north where there is no plain.) However, Blair can’t get the Cockney out of her Upper East Side Accent, and Serena can say it perfectly! read more

Blair Bitch Project. Episode 1×14

Now this is an interesting title I can live with. We’re also starting the last string of episodes of the first season, the episodes post-strike. There is a noted difference in the tone and feel of the episodes if I remember correctly, and as I’ve said before, these are some of the best episodes of the entire series.

We left off with Blair having just been dumped by Nate and Chuck and Gossip Girl had posted the news that Blair had slept with the bros from different hoes for the world to see (thanks to Jenny telling Nate and Chuck sending the tip to Gossip Girl), Rufus boring us greatly, and Serena still was only in love with Dan. Where do we go from here? read more

Bad News Blair. Episode 1×04

Once again, we’re treated to a rehash of Serena returning from the brothel without vibrating souvenirs and other events from the pilot. I’d think the CW is worried that people might forget exactly why Gossip Girl cares about Serena or something?

How long will the S&B truce last? I’ll give it to November sweeps.

Blair’s first dream! A Gossip Girl tradition! To the tune of “Moon River”, Blair dreams that she is   Audrey Hepburn’s Breakfast at Tiffany’s character and S. has taken her spot between the trashily (if trashily isn’t an actual word it should be) dressed Not Mean Girls. read more