The Goodbye Gossip Girl. Episode 2×25

Last week was a total waste of time as it was a failed backdoor pilot for a show about Lily in the 80’s, and it was also PROM, which was more an afterthought. Now it’s time for the Season 2 Season Finale. What’s going to happen to our gang? Will Georgina get her Bible money back? Did Blair ever tell Jesus that the Bitch is Back? (Wait, if Jesus is the Son of God, wouldn’t he already know?) Or was Blair too busy breaking up with Nate to relay the message? Let’s find out!

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It’s graduation time on the Upper East Side, and as Gossip Girl herself says, who needs “Pomp and Circumstance” when you’ve got paparazzi? Serena is ready to end high school as she figures it’ll end her reign as Gossip Girl’s #1 target. She was the very first blast on the Gossip Girl site back in 9th grade when she wore a white dress on a rainy day. Serena is just excited as Gossip Girl doesn’t do college, yo. read more

The Age of Dissonance. Episode 2×18.

Miss Carr and Dan did the NASTY (and I mean NASTY), Blair nearly got expelled for sending tips to Gossip Girl, and Vanessa wanted to do Eyes Wide Shut with Nate as his eyes were already shut tight. (Do you blame him?) What’s next on the Upper East Side?

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THE AGE OF INNOCENCE! I love how GG took a chance and did an episode told through a play about crusty old rich people being played by people who would be crusty old rich people in 50 years. Backstage and onstage, the drama is going to happen. And a lot of it! Who cares if we’ve never heard of the senior-class play before and it came out of nowhere (no talk, no rehearsals, nada nada nada). It’s awesome on a stick. read more

Carnal Knowledge. Episode 2×17.

After we suffer through this episode (that isn’t really that bad, but not as good as what’s ahead), the best episodes of Gossip Girl will arrive. We can rejoice, albeit briefly, as the best will give way to four seasons of unwatchableness after thinking a failed backdoor pilot about Lily in the 80s proving Like Mother Like Daughter was a good idea. First, we must see what happens after Serena was accepted and then turned down Yale for Blair, this Miss Carr teacher is up to and how far Blair’s war against her will go, the aftermath of Jack Bass nearly raping Lily which gave her the ability to push him out of Bass Industries and if the show will ever mention the Secret Love Child between Lily and Rufus again. Also, always remember, the less Vanessa and Jenny, the better! read more

You’ve Got Yale. Episode 2×16.

Previously on Gossip Girl a will was read, providing more drama than usual, and Rufus and Lily ran away to Boston to try to find their Secret Love Child. Serena and Dan found out they have sibling in common, which is totally a mood-killer. Uncle Jack managed to get Chuck fired from Bass Industries to take it over. What will happen next? Please tell us, Gossip Girl! We’re literally dying here! In fact, Daddy WarBass died from not knowing!

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All Blair wants is a ticket to Yale. So call Greyhound and see if they have a ticket from the Upper East Side to New Haven. read more

In the Realm of the Basses. Episode 2×14

We’re halfway through the second season, and the only thing we really have to show for it are a dead father (Chuck’s dad Daddy WarBass died in an accident), a new stepfather (Hello, Cyrus! As you wish!), bad fashion designs from Jenny, Captain Went to Jail, and a lot of angst for all our characters, especially Chuck and Blair and Dan and Serena. Oh, and Aaron Rose/Creepy Bores. Oh! And Lily’s secret stay in an institution. Let’s hope for a better second half, mkay?

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It’s a New Year on the Upper East Side, and everyone is coming back from their Christmas vacations! Serena’s been tangoing (and screwing) her way through Buenos Aires. Lonely Boy Dan was alone (serves him right), and Jenny’s headed back to school! Blair will be ecstatic to have someone to torture again at school. And Chuck is missing. His uncle Jack has been seen about town though, which could potentially be interesting, depending on who his uncle is (hopefully fun evil like Georgina and not boring evil like Daddy WarBass). read more

The Serena Also Rises. Episode 2×05.

So no more incestuous Dukes and Duchesses that pay Nate for sex and refuse to put out for Blair! I think we can all breathe a gigantic sigh of relief now. Also, Serena is Queen and not Blair! How is that going to go?

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It’s Fashion Week, which means Blair MUST wear elderly clothing!

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Actually, she’s doing the seating chart.

Humphrey is apparently applying to Yale. Isn’t that Blair’s thing? I thought Dan was a Dartmouth man. He’s changed his mind. Jenny is cutting class to help Eleanor. read more

School Lies. Episode 1×12.

I just looked, and we have two episodes left before the post-2008 writers’ strike break which brought us the best Gossip Girl episodes. Damn. I’m anxious to relive those. And then it’s all downhill to the point where it sinks below special-guest star Hillary Duff territory.

Don’t worry, there is a ton of good stuff beforehand, and the bad stuff is quite mockable.

So the questions we were left with are the following:

Has Chuck told Nate that not only do they share a bromance but the same girl? That Chuck left Blair as sloppy seconds for Nate? read more