The Wrath of Con. Episode 2×23.

Georgina is back, having converted to Christianity in her time at boot camp. Serena realized that Gabriel was scamming everyone, including Rufus, so thank God she didn’t accidentally marry him in Spain. And Nate bought Blair an apartment so she wouldn’t have to take the SUBWAY.

Serena Boyfriend Count: 5

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This episode ends with the best quote ever. Fair warning.

Chuck is a bit miffed that the taxi back from Jesus Camp is without glasses for his flask, and he neglects to tell Serena he’s bringing back a friend (Georgina, the one he gave his flower to in the sixth grade). He offers Georgina a drink. read more

Seder Anything. Episode 2×21.

It was Jenny’s party and she’ll cry if she wants to (you’d cry too if you were a Humphrey), Lily was annoyed that she had to be a parent, Chuck and Vanessa feel that sex neither one of them wants to brag about is the best way to make Nate and Blair jealous, and Serena ran off to Spain. Hmm, their economic crisis got really bad around the time Serena visited. Can we blame her?

Next week we shall start the Official Serena Man count. Dan is 1, Aaron Rose is 2, Pretentious Gay Director is 3…

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Remains of the J. Episode 2×20.

Last week, a bunch of boring stuff with Nate’s grandfather a VANDERBILT transpired that lead him back to Blair, perhaps, Serena slapped Dan (#TeamSerena), and Lily destroyed the entire Amazon rainforest by writing down the names of all her lovers. What’s next? From the episode description, barf bags for all. “S has just the gift for little J’s Sweet 16: A party with all of S’s stuffy socialite friends. Looks like no one is going to get what they want this year!” I’d like Jenny to murder Vanessa in a murder-suicide, and I don’t think I’ll be getting that! read more

The Serena Also Rises. Episode 2×05.

So no more incestuous Dukes and Duchesses that pay Nate for sex and refuse to put out for Blair! I think we can all breathe a gigantic sigh of relief now. Also, Serena is Queen and not Blair! How is that going to go?

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It’s Fashion Week, which means Blair MUST wear elderly clothing!

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Actually, she’s doing the seating chart.

Humphrey is apparently applying to Yale. Isn’t that Blair’s thing? I thought Dan was a Dartmouth man. He’s changed his mind. Jenny is cutting class to help Eleanor. read more